I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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