I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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