i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
