So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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