i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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