My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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