Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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