i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
