She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
