Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
