You made me cry and you don't even care
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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