my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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