You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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