I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
