I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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