No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
