He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
