ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Randomize
