I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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