go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
this hospital has no fireball
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
