so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
only you would photoshop your dick
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
