K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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