I love black thongs
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
