i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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