I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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