My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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