you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
