Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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