dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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