ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
