Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
