honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have fence marks all over my body
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
