i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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