they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
