For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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