that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
