i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
