i think my tv is drunk
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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