dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How naked do you want me to be?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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