Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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