so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
