Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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