You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Acid is not a monday night drug
this boner is exhausting
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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