I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
