Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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