If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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