No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Congratulations! We have a period
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
