Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
