I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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