Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
